Everyone but me seems so settled in their lives, I sometimes really wonder when I would get that kind of feel from life, from things that I am doing.
I hate driving to work, and from work to home. It takes me 2 Fu**ing hours to reach nothing lesser. I hate every part of being in a metro now. Things have changed completely for me, I never drove around, never kept a hang of money I used to spent, never worry about getting up early in the morning, infact I never faced problem when I was in college during my masters when I was living on my own, I got up really early back then on my own and never crib about it.
I don’t know if I am actually growing up (not literally) or descending from even where I was when I was nothing at all.
To top it all I have started hating going out* partying* mall hopping* eating out* the only one thing I now enjoy is getting wasted and that too with my girl friends where I don’t have to care about the language I am using.
And after all the bombings and threats all around in almost all cities of India I am terrorized of getting stuck in the traffic as well, god knows if person standing next to me in his bicycle carrying a gas cylinder is actually a man returning from his work taking a cooking gas cylinder to his home where actually his wife and kids are waiting for him to come home so that they can have food or he is yet another bomber. I have these weird dirty feeling about everyone around me!!!
Where absolutely no one seems true, everyone’s’ on their pretence trip, I am no less!!!
Personally speaking I don’t want to stay in a big city at all now, at all, where even I don’t know if I am going to come back home or no let alone my mom worrying about me at home when I am on the road adding on to the road rage. Currently if I speak frankly I hate a lot of people around me and like a very meager number of them, I feel guilty at the end but not so that any of my feelings change for them I still hate them with the same passion.
I don’t know if I am obsessed or possessed but my life is getting wasted for sure. I can’t be wrong on that one.
God help me !!!
